nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
