Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
