1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
