READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize