have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
