i wish peter jackson would direct porn
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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