she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
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Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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