we have pet lesbian snakes
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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