Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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