He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
