All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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