I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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