I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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