went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
