i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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