Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
