**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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