Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
