Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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