...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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