The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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