Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
