i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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