You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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