It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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