Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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