remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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