Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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