As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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