I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
