i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
