Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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