Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
