dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
