I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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