We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
