I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
