pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
