i don't like sucking hair
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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