I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
someone threw a dead crab at me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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