Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
