I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
