Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.

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(678): View more from Georgia

all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.

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(416): View more from Toronto

i flashed his best friends last night

(1-416): View more from Toronto

you always were good at making good first impressions

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(760): View more from California

I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?

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(207): View more from Maine

when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance

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(775): View more from Nevada

He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless

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(802): View more from Vermont

New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills

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(304): View more from West Virginia

It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.

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