I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize