oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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