Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dignity is for republicans.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
