brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
