Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
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We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
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I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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