I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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