Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
