this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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