those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
