Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
