It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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