the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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