I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
