I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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