Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
