I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
