I'm going to jail i love you
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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