I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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