I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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