your room smells of hookers.
And success
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize