I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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