I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
