Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
